Yesterday morning, it was raining, and on the way to class I picked up a guy who was walking to work (I live in the country, so ‘walking to work’ can be a several hour event). He was a black dude, and the thing that stood out was how for the first five minutes he was in my car, he started with this unfortunate shuck-and-jive thing that so many older black males unfortunately seem to think white people expect. Truth be told, some of my less enlightened European brethren probably do expect it - mores the pity. He kept calling me sir, when if you went by age, it was obvious that he was the only sir in the car.
Finally, I just made an effort to be just a regular dude who was giving him a ride, just as random people have given me rides plenty of times. I didn’t talk about the racial thing, but instead kind of told a couple of funny (I hope) anecdotes about not having a car and how much of a pain it was to get to work without one. By the time I got to the Mom and Pop Soul Food Restaurant where he works, he had relaxed a little bit, and we seemed to be beginning to relate to each other as men, and not as white and black men.
In the South, as I’m sure all over, the color line still divides. It still permeates nearly every aspect of life, until you forget it’s even there and it becomes normative. I shouldn’t have to tell anyone how foolish it is - the way we separate ourselves, even when we’re in the same vehicle - but it’s there, and it’s not going away until we deal with it openly.
Oh, my white people, what a tangled web we weave. I know more people than I care to count who swear up and down that they don’t have a bigoted bone in their body - and believe it too! - but then go on to talk about how blacks and whites shouldn’t marry because “people should stick to their own kind, and it’s not fair to the kids”. Actually, maybe that isn’t bigotry in and of itself, as it doesn’t automatically mean superiority or inferiority, but it is stupid. It’s only ‘not fair to the kids’ because of ignorant bigots who see a child with brown skin and automatically assign that child the label of ‘other’. And when placed in the context of the spectacular failure of ‘separate but equal’, it becomes clear that, at least subconsciously, the true motivation behind this attitude is that ‘black people just aren’t as good as white people’.
There, I said it. That is what far too many white people think, and it’s time for those of us European descendants who believe differently to speak up. It’s time for the Caucasians to get back into the struggle for equality. Because our silence is too similar to consent.
And black people, you’ve got to be patient with us. Just as society conditions you to distrust us (if you don’t agree with that statement, I don’t know what to say but open your eyes), society conditions us to fear and despise you. I’ve spent years and years working to overcome that - to see people first and for race to be just another attribute along with hair color and where they’re from. But even still, I find those thoughts that come from that deep, ugly place bubbling to the surface - usually in line somewhere like the DMV when a large, black woman is being especially rude.
When I catch those sort of thoughts forming, I try to attack them as diligently as I can, and remind myself of how many times I’ve been at the DMV and a white person has been rude (oh, lord, it’s happened), and I think of all the beautiful, intelligent, strong black women that I know who shatter that tired stereotype all to hell.
So where am I going with this?
We need a serious national dialogue on race in America, and we need it yesterday. We need to stop pretending that we’ve put all ‘those problems’ behind us, and start dealing with the real shit that’s going on everyday.
White people, you need to be more honest about how you feel - even if you’re afraid it’s going to offend somebody. Be respectful and tactful, but be honest. If your opinion does offend people, perhaps you should get introspective and question why.
And black people, don’t be afraid to ‘air your dirty laundry’ with us. This is 2006, and white people are not as unaware of the black experience as we used to be. Ok, a lot of white people are still clueless, but a lot of us have come to understand how our society treats you here in the twenty-first century, and we don’t like it one bit. We see the challenges (an understatement) of ghetto life, and see how similar it is to the challenges of our own lives (at least those of us on the lower end of the economic spectrum). Even white people with money have to deal with the demons of America (greed, aggression, betrayal, self-hatred, etc.), though they manifest themselves differently in the different sub-cultures. We white people have much more capability for understanding than I think we get credit for sometimes.
An honest dialogue will be difficult, and a lot of nasty stuff would undoubtedly come to the surface - especially at first - but it has to happen. It will require patience, it will require us all to fearlessly look within and fight the inner demons of bigotry. White people have a special challenge in this, as it’s so indoctrinated that we often don’t even recognize it, which is why a dialogue is necessary. It will require large amounts of patience with each other, allowing ourselves to stumble over words, to question without censor, and possibly even to offend.
Speaking of that, let me be clear about one group of white people that wouldn’t be invited to our ‘great dialogue’: white supremacists. Those familiar with me know how much I hate ‘us and them’ or identifying a group of people as the ‘enemy’, but when it comes to these guys, I just can’t be tolerant. This would be a topic for another post, but I (and many others) have long held that an in depth study of American society and history shows a direct causal relationship between the problems we have today with crime and drugs and the white supremacists’ (in all their repugnant forms) oppression.
I said white people should be honest, and I meant it, but that honesty has to also be combined with a mutual respect going into it. White supremacy, by it’s very nature, sinks that ship. For that matter, so does certain forms of black nationalism, but the damage done by white bigotry to the fabric of our culture could never be matched by black bigotry (yes, there are many bigots with brown skin - I’ve met quite a few of them) simply because whites are the ones with power. There’s never going to be a black judge who secretly wishes to overthrow the white oppressors and line ‘em up against a wall. But I have personally met white judges and other officials who drop N-bombs in private like it’s Nagasaki in August.
The problems with race that confront our society are deep and ugly, which perhaps is why we’ve hidden behind political correctness and our fear of offending people for so long to avoid it, but it’s got to stop. If Katrina wasn’t enough (remember how white people found food and black people ‘looted’ it?), then I don’t know what to say other than go visit Huegenot High School in Richmond, which is mostly black, and then drive five miles to James River High School, which is mostly white, and then tell me we don’t need to deal with this problem.
Our parents’ (talking to you fellow Xers) generation broke the bonds of Jim Crow, and now it’s up to our generation and take the next step, which is to come together, warts and all, and realize how much of a family we are - no matter what range of light waves your skin causes to hit my eye.
